Cancer

 Such a great title, let's just skip all the formalities and get straight to the point. A few months ago I noticed a little scar on my forehead. Tiny. But it wasn't there before. I hadn't been injured or anything so I knew there was no reason I should have a scar. It was just slightly discolored and when I tried to show people, nobody else saw it. Rewind to a few years ago, I had a tiny scab on my chest by my collarbone that wouldn't heal. I had it checked out by some random dermatologist who confirmed skin cancer and cut it out. Bada bing bada boom, wham bam thank you ma'am. He freaking tore apart my chest and left me with about a 3 inch disgusting scar. Here it is the day it was cut. My scar is horrible.

  So back to present day, when I saw it, I got that gut feeling that it was the same thing. It probably took me a month to tell lee about it and another month to even call the dermatologist. A new one I might add. Anyways, when I went to the dermatologist she didn't even think it was cancer. I tried to be hopeful and forget about it but I knew what it was. About a week later they called and confirmed what I knew. Basal cell skin cancer but they referred me to a MOHs surgeon to remove it. I literally freaked out when I saw what MOHs surgery was. They cut a crater out of your skin and test it and your left with a hole anywhere from quarter size to your entire face. It's disgusting. Google it, seriously, now. So I was freaking out on the phone with the dermatologist receptionist and she suggested I have a plastic surgeon close it so there would be less scarring. I called them and set up my appointment to have a consultation. Mind you I was still freaking out on the phone with the nurse. Literally. I was bawling. When I had my consultation my blood pressure was through the roof. And when the dr came in I was already in tears. It sounds vain but the other scar is so big and hideous and I didn't want it on my face! He was incredible! Vey laid back and confident and spent a lot of time talking to me and calming me down. He explained what he was probably going to do depending on the size of the hole. I could not have asked for a better doctor. I feel so grateful for the care and concern he showed me. He also showed me many pictures of before and after and literally, I didn't see 1 scar. If I ever have to do this again, I highly recommend a plastic surgeon. Anyways, the surgery was set for 2 days later. I went into the MOHs dermatologist surgeon and he cut it out before I even knew what he was doing. He was also very personable and friendly. He kept me talking and calm and did it so quick I literally was shocked when he said he was done. When I showed him the other scar and explained why I was so scared and nervous, he offered to laser it for free. He said it would help to minimize it and he wanted to do it for free to help me out. After that was all cut out and bandaged up I headed to the hospital for the closure by the plastic surgeon. I put on the gown and went back to wait for my turn. In the waiting room, there was 6 other beds with other patients waiting for surgeries as well. My doctor came in and talked to me again for a little bit to help calm my fears. He also asked what I wanted to listen to. I was like um, I am going to be asleep and your the one cutting me and fixing it so whatever you want. The anesthesiologist also came in and then the nurse. She showed me her nose and said that in October she had the same surgery and they had to remove half her nose and she had dr. Cook (my plastic surgeon) close it and I literally could not see a scar. It was amazing. So they wheeled me back and when they opened the doors, rock and roll music was blaring. It was kinda hilarious and actually helped calm me more. I don't know why. Anyways, the dr was jamming to Aerosmith and within 20 seconds I was asleep.

  When I woke up I couldn't open my eyes. I just remember crying and saying I wanted my husband. I also felt extremely nauseous. I remember them wheeling me to the recovery room and hearing lee but I just wanted the lights off and to sleep. It hurt my eyes so bad to open them. I kept trying but man it hurt. I finally felt well enough to go home so we left at about 6 pm. My cut was on my left forehead almost right in the middle. My stitches look like an upside down cross.

  I really haven't had a lot of pain. They gave me some loratab but I really haven't needed it. I took it the day after but I don't know if I really needed it then either. On Saturday I woke up to extreme swelling in my eye and cheek. I looked weird and it felt sensitive. On Sunday the same with a little less swelling. It was normal though and today it is gone. I went back to the plastic surgeon today and he double checked it. He also gave me Botox because it paralyzes the muscles and prevents scar tissue from building. He told me in 6 weeks I probably won't even be able to see the scar. I feel extremely grateful for both the doctors. They were both amazing and calmed my fears and spent a lot of time with me. I am overwhelmed at how calm and at peace I feel about it. Thanks to my doctors. I asked to see the pictures from the surgery because I wanted to see how big the hole was and it was about the size of a nickel, maybe a little bigger. So smaller than I was expecting. If I had to do this all over again or if anyone I knew had to do this, I would go the exact same route I did. I loved both my doctors and can't express how thankful I am that they can do these kinds of things. I am thankful I was able to get the cancer out and that I could have a plastic surgeon fix it. He said it would look perfect when it was done. Here I am on Sunday night so 3 days after the surgery. I will post more pictures as it heals.