Eye appt

I took Calvin to his eye appt. Poor kid. We ended up being there for 2 1/2 hours, yet only saw the doctor for less than 10 minutes total. It was a complete joke and a complete waste of time. Calvin was super tired and therefore super cranky. He wouldn't look at objects or track them when he did because he was just so tired. They then finally put some eye drops in to dilate his eyes and he fell asleep for about half hour in my arms. The dr then came and looked in his eyes and said it looks normal. I could tell he really didn't know what to tell me. He did notice that his eyes didn't line up all the time so he said if they don't then they can do surgery on them. But his eyes don't do that all the time and I remember Owens being all googly for a while so I think it is just taking time to fully develop his eye muscles. I feel so irritated! I have another eye appt with the top pediatric eye doctor in Utah and that isn't until October so if his eyes haven't lined up then I will go in to see him. So I guess the good news is he sees fine and the bad news is that is not why he isn't smiling. The past few mornings when I have gone in to get him he gets really happy and does little smiles at the sound of my voice. He doesn't smile when I look at him or looking at me but perhaps that will come soon enough. At least he lets out one or two small ones a day. Usually in the morning. I have an appointment with a pediatrician next monday so we will see what she says.
I have come to the conclusion though, that no matter what, I am going to love this little boy with my whole heart. Every child is different and special in each of their own ways and you have to learn how to treat them and that is exactly what we will do. Do whatever we need to do to love him and help him move forward in life. I also am trying to not focus on the negative or freaking myself out over every little thing he does or doesn't do. He is only my little baby this once and I need to enjoy every second. I love him and feel like everything will be ok. I don't know whether that means he will have anything or not, but either way, we will love him and still be a happy family. I am so happy I have him here. He is such a sweet spirit and I love him!!