Sarah

I know this picture is bad but we just got done with a grueling aerobics class and are sweaty and gross! So boo yow!

So this is going to be kinda cheesy and kinda sad too! We are moving away from Logan and although I am happy to be closer to family and friends...I am also so sad to leave some of our other friends we have made during our years here. I have become really close to some of them. One of them is Sarah. She is so cute and darling! We have been going to aerobics classes together for the past 3 years almost. We always talked and were friendly and then she told me she was pregnant. Well sure enough about 3 months later I got pregnant too. We started hanging out and luckily our husbands got along and now we are really close friends. It has been so fun to see her and talk about our pregnancies and now babies! And it was always nice because she was just one step ahead of me so I knew kinda what to expect. I love you Sarah and I am so thankful for your friendship. It really has meant a lot to me because a lot of times I get lonely or bored up here and now you are one of my best friends. I am going to miss you so much and I am sitting here bawling because I am sad to leave you. You and Ben and Jayci are so cute and I have loved your family! I wish you could move down by me and everything could stay the same. I really hope that we stay in contact so you better keep it up or someone is going to get their A kicked! I love you and I truly will miss you so much! Thank you for all the advice and help and being there when I went into Labor and didn't even know it. ha ha! I consider you as one of my sisters! Give Ben and Jayci a big hug from me too! And remeber I LOVE YOU!

Owen is TWO months old today!

Mommy and baby! He is so sleepy!
Our Family at 2 months!
Him kinda smiling
This is the confused look he usually gives the camera! It is still dang cute! :)

So here I am late at night, blogging instead of packing. We are getting ready for our big move to Salt Lake to my parentals house till we close. We are closing at the end of May so we need to stay with them till then. Owen is two months old already! He is so cute and such a joy and I just love him to death!! He is such a good baby! I am not joking or just saying that because I am the mother but really, he is. He doesn't cry. Weird, I know. Literally, he just doesn't. When he gets upset he just grunts or snorts and sometimes snorts out giant green boogers!! ha ha! Even when we put him to bed he just grunts and kinda moves around a bit (I think to get more comforatable) and then falls asleep within 5 minutes. One of my friends was asking me if I let him cry himself to sleep or what I do when he cries and I just sat there open mouthed without an answer. I literally can NOT think of a night where he has cried. Now because I am blogging this, I hope it doesn't change so knock on wood. But he is just so cute and good and I think he is the cutest baby on the planet. Hey I am biased as every mother should be. But I just want to say how much I love our little man and how much I love my husband! He has been such a great support and help and has no problem helping out in the middle of the night. Luckily Owen just gets up once! But I am so thankful for my little family and I am excited to see how our family changes and grows as we move away from Logan and into Lee's first job and into our first place. Owen is also starting to smile a lot! But whenever we pull out the camera or cell phone he gets a really confused look on his face (which is not unusual for him if you know him!) and gets this look like "get that camera outta my face". So tonight he was smiling a lot and trying to get his smile. We got a few small smiles but nothing like the real deal. Hopefully I can get a shot of that soon! These pictures were taken today, his 2 month birthday!
Oh and I took him to his Dr. appt to get his shots :( Sad I know. But he weighed in at 12 lbs 4.5 oz!

We put an offer on a house

So we have been looking and looking and looking for houses to buy. We really want to buy because the market is good for buyers but honestly, in Salt Lake County, everything in our price range is crap! We went to so many areas and so many houses and they were all in really scary areas, in really scary, ghetto neighborhoods and not to mention some of the houses stunk like an uncleansed body area! Now from the beginning, we have kinda been against townhouses. I have heard a lot of horror stories about them not going up in value, etc. but we decided to just look around at those too just to get an idea. Well we were down in Saratoga Springs and went to look at a town house. It was an end unit on August Dr. so we go to August Dr. see and end unit and go to open it up. We walk inside and just barely start to look around and my friend Heather, who is our real estate agent, says, "oh crap this is the wrong unit". Now Lee and I were really liking this one but we left to go look at the original one we came for. It was the same set up but not quite as nice. We asked if Heather could call the real estate agent on the other one and ask how much they want and if we could look at it. She did and they were asking what we wanted and he said we could go look. We went in again and actually got to walk around the whole place and just fell in love. The basement is finished and get this, includes the entertainment system, surround sound, and 60 inch plasma TV on the wall! It is already painted and we love the colors and wouldn't really need to do anything but move in! The house is 2350 sq feet! It is huge and it is light and has lots of windows and very open (which was part of the reason I didn't like townhouses to begin with, I felt like they were dark and skinny). And there isn't a townhouse on our left. It is a big grassy area so Owen can go out and play there. There is also a little park and play area really close. Anyways Lee and I both felt so good about this place and we just knew it was the place. The weird thing is that we had been praying that we would be led to the place we should go and it just so happened that we walked into the wrong house and it ended up being the right house! Crazy! It was literally like we were led there and walked right in. I don't know how to explain it, and I am sure everyone who has bought a house knows what I am talking about, but you both just know. So we decided to put in an offer and they have until tomorrow at noon to accept or counteroffer. I am so excited! I have not once thought "oh maybe we shouldn't" or "maybe we should just keep looking" or anything like that. I just get so happy and excited! I really know that we need to be there and I don't know why. I know it is a townhouse but at least we aren't throwing away our money on rent and in a few years when Lee is making more money and we have gained a little equity then we can move on up and into a house but for now I know that this is our place. And we will be having parties in our awesome basesment so everyone will have to come over! I will keep you updated on whether they accepted or countered.

Ok so I just found out they accepted our offer! New home, here we come!

TURBO KICK!

So if anyone knows me, they know I LOVE turbo kick. Yea thats right fool, turbo kick! It is an awesome awesome kickboxing class. I have been going for almost 3 years. So the sad news about leaving Logan is that I will also be leaving my beloved class! So what do I do? I go get certified to teach it! YA! I am so so so super excited! I really hope I can teach it! I know my body is not all that and a bag of chips, because it looks like I ATE a bag of chips. But I had a baby so everyone can shut it and thats why I want to teach it because I can hopefully get my body back and maybe help others get one too. Honestly, it is so freakin fun! It is kinda a combination of hip hop and kickboxing and the music is so fun and upbeat and modern. I feel like I am at a dance/workout party when I go and I want to share it with everyone because it is so fun you don't even realize the class is almost over because you are having so much fun! Yea it is a party, thats what we will call it. TK party! So everyone when I can actually get a job to teach it (hopefully soon!) than you all are invited to my PARTAE! And you better come or I will kick your butt!

Moving to Salt Lake City!

Well Lee finally got a job! YAHOO! He will be working at Sunrise Engineering in the Draper, UT office. We are kinda sad cuz we wanted to go to St. George or somewhere different but we wanted to work for this company and it is close to our family and friends so that is good. Now we just need to find a place to live! ug, finding houses or apartments is NO fun especially if you don't live there and can't look around. We are going to have to go down a lot to find a place. We really want to buy a place because the market is good for buyers right now but it is so damn expensive and we are having a hard time finding a decent place in our price range. I guess that is life.
On a more positive note...here are some exciting things in my life! YAY!

1. My friend Michelle is Pregnant!! I knew she would jump on the bandwagon!
2. My cousin Sarah is getting married soon and I can't wait to throw her a shower!
3. Owen is starting to smile a little at me. And only me. :) I love being the mommy at this point!
4. Lee has a good job so that I don't have to work and can stay at home with Owen!
5. I am going to get certified in Turbo Kick to hopefully teach it and get my butt back in shape.
6. I went to the Dr. for my 6 week checkup and I am good for go. I am all healed and can start running again...amongst other things that my husband will be happy about once I decided to actually stop being a baby and do it!

Well now that life is starting to figure itself out and I no longer am an emotional rolloer coaster, we can settle down into our routine. We just need a place to live. I am not looking forward to packing up everything and moving! I hate packing and unpacking. We might even move in with my parents for a few weeks while we figure out what the heck we are going to do. I don't want to not even in the slightest bit but everywhere else requires a year lease/deposit and all that junk. So if anyone has a good house for us to buy you just give me a ringy dingy on my celly and we can look into it. I can't wait to move outta this antarctic freeze called Logan!

A serious post about breastfeeding

I am not expecting anyone to read this because this is about my experience with breastfeeding but for my sake and sanity I need to get this out...
Well I am having some issues and feelings and I want to get them out because they have been nagging at me and nagging at me and causing me a lot of pain and guilt so I want to get them out so I can get over them. As you may or may not know I have had A LOT of issues with nursing. I was having a lot of pain in the beginning for a few weeks and Owen was not latching on and acting like he was in pain every time he tried to eat from me. On top of this he was losing weight. Now I know in the beginning, especially with newborns that are nursed that they lose weight, but Owen kept losing weight. Our Pediatrician was worried and wanting me to supplement with formula. Just give him an extra ounce or two after I feed. I was really really upset because since day one of pregnancy I have been adamant about breastfeeding and that I was going to do it no matter how bad it hurt. And man, did it hurt. More than I thought it should. Well by his two week appt Owen still wasn't even up to his birth weight so I was recommended to go see a lactation consultant. I had also been looking online at all my symptoms and his symptoms and had a suspicion that I had Thrush and that we had been passing it between us for the past two weeks. I was in more pain than giving birth! (and my epidural had worn off during labor!) So I went to the Lactation Consultant and she confirmed that I had Thrush. It was so severe it was even in my milk ducts. So I got special cream for me, medicine for his mouth and medicine for me to take. We also checked my milk supply and not only did I have low milk supply, the amount of fat in my milk was very small. My milk looked like Skim milk. I also since giving birth had not been feeling well at all. I was constantly having a headache, the chills, and no appetite. So they thought I might have a mild form of mastitis but if they were to treat me for that it would make my Thrush worse. We decided to work on the Thrush. A week later I had not seen any results and as a result, Owen was hungry! I had to give him formula a lot more than I had been anticipating. I called my doctor and they suggested an even more extreme approach to getting rid of my thrush. I now was on more medicine and had a different cream to put on me. At this point I decided to pump only because the pain of feeding was too severe for me to handle anymore. I was pumping constantly but because of the infections my milk supply was low. On top of this, I had to boil everything that went into his mouth and touched my breasts every time they were used. So after every feeding I was boiling all bottles, nipples, pacifiers, breastpump, etc. Another week goes by and I am still in pain. Not as bad but still not feeling well. I still was getting headaches and the chills constantly. When Owen was 5 weeks old I woke up with the most severe pain in my breasts again. This time it was a deep throbbing pain! I drove Lee to school and every time we went over the slightest bump I had to hold myself it hurt so bad. I came home crying and once again called the doctor. After telling them my story and that I was still in a lot of pain they said that my Mastitis had gotten worse from not being treated and they needed to treat me. However, by treating me that would bring my Thrush back. A double-edged sword if you will. At this point, for my sake and my sanity I decided that breastfeeding was not for me. I had still been trying to take Owen to my breast at least once a day so he wouldn't forget, however due to my low milk supply and my infections making my milk taste "off" he wouldn't latch very well and when he did he would immediately pull off. I have been through hell with nursing. My Thrush isn't completely gone and I am currently on medicine for the Mastitis. I can not keep this ongoing cycle for months on end and finally end this charade when it is too late and I need surgery or something. This entire time I have had the most guilt-racked mind! I know breast milk is best and I know it is the perfect food and every book and doctor can tell you that. Some women even get very blunt, rude, and catty about it. Trust me, I have been very upset this month. I have cried so many times over this problem and I have had blessings from my husband for the pain and poor Owen can probably sense my stress and guilt. But it is not working out this time. I have literally done everything I can and tried everything and for almost 6 weeks now I have been in constant pain and hell! I love my little boy more than my own life and I would do anything for him and not being able to do this hurts me more than anyone will know. I tried to get my milk supply up, I tried to increase the fat, but because I have two infections blocking my way, not to mention the stress it has caused me, I just don't produce enough to keep him happy and healthy. Since we have switched to the formula supplement he is so much happier and gaining weight. My doctor told me to count my experience as a success. That I breastfed him mostly for almost 6 weeks and I did everything I could. But I still have this guilt. I feel like I am a bad mom and that I should keep going. But this is a cycle that is never-ending and could cause me serious damage. No matter if I kept going or not I would still have to supplement with formula because I have low milk and low fat content. I want to give my baby everything and it kills me that I can't give him this. I am so thankful for Lee for standing behind me in this and helping me whenever he can. Our little baby comes first in our lives and we are so thankful for him and his sweet little spirit and joy he has brought to our lives! I know now that in the future I can be more successful. I know what signs to look for and I can be prepared before anything happens so I can prevent these problems before they begin. But for now, formula is what is BEST for both my beautiful baby boy and me.

A few first month pictures

These are just a few pictures I have taken over the past month...trust me, I have ALOT more! I love my little boy oh so much! He is so cute and fun and funny and he is such a good little baby. He hardly ever cries. He just grunts when he is hungry or frustrated. I think that is why I love the pictures of him crying so much, they just make me laugh. If he was collicky that might be a different story though! :)